Attractive bearded man smiling at a text on his phone

How to Ask a Guy Out by Text


By Maddie Santiago

Nowadays, women vote, work, make up their own minds, and live their own lives. The days of a women’s only life option of being a stay at home wife, mother, and homemaker are long gone. Women don’t have to play by the same old rules when it comes to dating and marriage either. Yet, when women are dating, the so-called “male duties” might seem a little awkward for women to take on. It’s tradition for the man to be the one to initiate the date, or in other words, ask the girl out. Women are strong! So why wait for him to make the first move? For those that are still a little nervous, we have some tips on how to approach the situation, and the best part is that you can ask him out through a text.

Sometimes the reason women regularly deter from doing those “male duties”, whether in life or relationships, is that they simply categorize them as being manly. Being a strong willful woman does not mean being masculine. Most women don’t want to come on too strong, forceful, or demanding. The key is to approach these situations while still keeping your femininity intact.

Here is a real life story from Mat Boggs, a speaker, relationship coach, and certified LifeSuccess consultant that specializes in love and relationships. A client of his, named Kelli, had an upcoming company party to go to. She really wanted her friend Rich to go with her, since she’d being crushing on him secretly for months. Here’s how she made her way out of the dreadful “friend zone”.

Before you write your text, think about the recipient. Masculine energy wants to provide and protect, right? One way to trigger that masculine energy is to play into your femininity¾ ask for something that you want and that would make you happy.

Here is the exact text that Matt told Kelli to send (which worked perfectly!):

“Help! I’m looking for a good-lookin’, fun, sushi-lovin’ guy (who preferably lives in San Diego area) to accompany me to my work holiday party, before someone in accounting asks me to go (yikes!).  Know anyone who would be interested???”

Now let’s take a closer look at the segments of this text and figure out why it worked so well:

“Help!  I’m looking for a good-lookin’, fun, (insert a quality you know him for) guy (who preferably lives in [insert where you live] area)”

This wording indirectly references him and compliments him at the same time. The indirect approach is characteristic of feminine energy. A female asking for “Help!” signals to him that there’s a call to action and that his masculine energy can fulfill a need.

“…to accompany me to my work holiday party, before someone in accounting asks me to go (yikes!).  Know anyone who would be interested???”

The phrase “before someone in accounting asks me to go” is key, because it indicates that you are an “in-demand” woman who has options. It’s typical human behavior that when people see that other people desire something, or someone, their desire naturally increases.

In response to this perfectly laid out text message, Rich replied, asking when the party would be and agreed to go together. They went to the company party and at the end of the night, he kissed her! Now they are enjoying their new relationship. So long friend zone!

In conclusion, Mat says it all comes down to 3 main points.

  1. Have the right mindset: be action-oriented while remaining feminine
  2. Have the right heart-set: know that you are worthy of being loved
  3. Have the right skill-set: use the right words to provoke his masculine energy

When it comes to making the first move, be confident. These steps provide an easy way to ask him out while keeping your femininity intact and without making him feel inferior. If there is someone you like, stop waiting around. It could lead to something wonderful! You can even use the text above as a template, we won’t tell anyone. Wishing you love this Valentine’s Day!

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