Building a Positive Relationship with Yourself – Being Alone


By: Erin Laughlin


Today, many people are focused on finding their significant other as quickly as possible, then settling down right away. We are under so much pressure to find “the one”, when the person you should be searching for, is yourself. The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one to maintain. There are billions of people in the world to build relationships with, however, at the end of the day, their opinion doesn’t matter. What does matter is the opinion you have of yourself.


Learning to be alone can be easier for some people compared to others. There are people who are perfectly content sitting at home and spending time by themselves, and not being bothered by anyone. These people are called introverts. Then there are the extroverts, who thrive on the energy of people and love to be out in public with big groups of people. Even though these two types of people are polar opposites, it is important for each group to learn how to be comfortable being alone.


In the past, it was very difficult for people who were not in a relationship to survive and provide for themselves. Today, people are not only surviving, but they are also thriving while living on their own. It is now possible for us to support ourselves financially, emotionally, and socially giving us the opportunity to become independent beings. This new-found independence allows us to take the time to focus on ourselves and pursue new, or even old things that we find interesting.


While there are many benefits to being in a relationship, it also has its disadvantages. There are many times when we lose our true self during a relationship, it is not hard to do. We spend so much time trying to please our significant other that we start morphing into who they want us to be. Thus, losing sight of who we are in the process. The only time when we are our true self, is when we are by our self. This allows us to be comfortable with who we are, while shedding a light on whom we want to have in a relationship.


Society puts so much pressure on being in a romantic relationship. It seems to be the main goal in everybody’s life. There are so many commercials and articles that advertise being in a “perfect relationship”. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship but, to obtain something close to perfect we must allow ourselves to be comfortable being alone. It is nearly impossible to find the right significant other to help us reach our highest potential without knowing ourselves first.


When in a relationship there are times where people tend to lose sight of their independence. They become so attached to their significant other that their personality changes into the person their partner wants them to be. A great way to maintain independence within a relationship is to find time to be alone. Creating this space of being alone gives us the opportunity to discover what we truly want to achieve within the relationship.


Being alone can seem frightening, however it is completely the opposite. Spending time by yourself can lead to new discoveries about yourself and what you are searching for in a romantic relationship. The time we spend alone is a time to align our thoughts and set our priorities. It is a time of self-discovery and building relationships between friends, business partners, neighbors, and most importantly, ourselves. The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one to maintain. It is the seed we must plant for all our other relationships to grow and flourish.

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